Heavy Philosophy

July 2, 2008

Today at Sanjo’s Gym, I weighed myself. Still 193. Plateau time. I’ve weighed that same number for the past 2 weeks. The logical part of my brain says: that is SO normal. My body is adjusting to the tremendous weight loss. There’ll be more to come. Be patient. Continue the routine.

But… there was that ANNOYING, familiar voice deep down in the dark tunnels of my cranium. It says: This is not working out. It’s too much of a hassle to continue the routine. I need a cake, asap. I’ll be forever fat. I’ll never be thin.

No, no, no. I don’t want that voice back. It’s always been the thing that sidetracks me from being successful in my goals. In the past I’ve successfully convinced myself that the effort isn’t worth it and I’m destined to be fat forever. I’d feel pessimistic and look for more excuses to “let go”.

NOT THIS TIME! Damn it. I’m telling that damn voice to get the HELL out of my mind. I am GOING to do this til the end. I am going to be successful in my goals as they come.

Interesting how I write this down in text, right in front of me, instead of letting that thought linger around in my mind. And today at the gym, I thought to myself, this is the same plight that millions of overweight women have, and a majority of them give in to that voice, the voice of Lucifer. He wants us to stay sad, depressed, pessimistic, and FAT.

Honey, this plateau is only temporary. Giving up is permanent. It’ll only continue. The pattern will go on and on and on. It’s really more than half the battle. The real battle is in your mind, it’s not the blubber that you want to lose. That’s just the easy part. Reworking that mindframe that we have had for so long is going to be daunting, telling ourselves that we will SUCCEED and we WILL win this battle.

That felt so good. It’s like telling that dark voice in my head to go f*** yourself.

Tactile love yourself, first&foremost!

Coco